Male Bonding
by KSlycke08
Summary: What happens when the Brotherhood and Acolytes play Baseball! Part 2 of my Playing House series. Humor!


What happens when The Acolytes and The Brotherhood play Baseball

My story, their characters, 'Nuff said!

Male Bonding

"Good God Freddy! You're fat!"

Mystique was never one for subtlety but even the rest of the Brotherhood House had to stop and listen.

"Uh, yeah, it's like, what he does, yo." Toad said trying to spare his friend.

It was breakfast in the Brotherhood House and he had a mouthful of toast halfway to his lips. Already Freddy was halfway through his fourth serving of blueberry pancakes and Raven had already run out of pancake mix. Pietro was guzzling orange juice out of the carton and Pyro was adding hot sauce to his scrambled eggs. Across from her Piotr was munching on his cereal while Sabretooth and Gambit just drank coffee.

Mystique was hoping to make it until Sunday to go grocery shopping but at the rate the Brotherhood and Acolytes were eating she would have to shop every three days. She didn't know how she was going to do it on what Magneto was paying her and that didn't even include Creed and his beer.

Groceries for six teenage boys and an overgrown Sabretooth were expensive.

"Well that's enough. From now on, you're going to have to exercise." She said.

All around the table everyone groaned.

"Exercise? I get plenty of exercise!" Pietro said.

Just to demonstrate he ran around the house ten times and back, leaping the sofa and swapping Piotr's cereal bowl.

"Hey!"

"See? Tip top!" He said juggling the cereal bowl, Freddy's plate and Sabretooth's coffee mug.

"Gimme that!" Sabretooth growled. Everyone knew he wasn't a morning person and Pietro was pushing it.

"Pffft. Big deal. You've just bin drinkin' Raven's low fat soy vanilla hazelnut lattes again." Gambit said.

"You too?" Pyro said.

"Mmmmm, much better than LiveWire Energy Cola." Pietro said giving him the high five.

"Oh for….Vic! Why don't you take them to the park?" Mystique said. Something had to be done to burn off all of their excess teenage energy and sitting around playing Guitar Hero didn't cut it.

Besides, right now she would love to have some alone time to herself.

"Me?" Sabretooth gulped almost spraying his coffee.

"Yeah, you're almost a father figure to them; you can take them to the park." She said.

"Father figure?" Everyone laughed.

"OK, well, adult grown male -kind of- figure then."

Everyone still laughed.

"He's still older than you!" She yelled trying to get her point across.

"By at least a century."

"Ain't gonna argue dat."

"Gotta be an old man by now." Pyro said.

"Yeah, it's like some kinda freaky Dick Clark thing, yo!"

"How old are you anyway?" Piotr asked genuinely interested. He had honestly never thought about it until now.

"None of your damn business." Sabretooth grumbled. "And you all better watch it cuz this old man's still half as better'n you on your best day."

"Vic!" Mystique yelled rolling her eyes. She was halfway through running her fingers through her hair, too.

"Ok. Ok." Sabretooth said watching her. If he didn't act soon she would be fixing to have a hissy fit.

Again. Soon.

"Fine. Doesn't mean I wanna claim 'em." He said standing up.

"Yeah! We get to go to the park!" Toad bounced.

"They have food there?" Freddy asked stuffing wadded up rolls of blueberry pancakes in his pockets.

"Freddy!" Everyone said.

"Get going!" Mystique ordered. She really really wanted to get them out of the house.

"Guess we be goin' to da park den." Gambit sighed.

"So long's as it don't interrupt Vic's nap time, I guess so." Pietro said.

"Yeah!"

"C'mon Granpa, let's go toss the old ball around." Pyro said.

"Grrrrrrrrr….."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Alright, let's get this over with." Sabretooth said. Just because Raven told him to take them to the park didn't mean he had to enjoy it.

It had taken them half the morning just to find the equipment and clean it up with all the cobwebs covering the mitts and the bats but given the right polish they had finally gotten them into playing condition.

Sabretooth was actually surprised that none of the kids even knew how to hold a mitt or a bat. He had to tell Toad which hand to put the mitt on and Pyro how to hold the bat. He never realized that this was probably the first time for any of them that they had ever played baseball before.

He'd just assumed their dad's would've showed them by now.

"Alright, Gambit, you pitch," He said when he thought they were ready. "Freddy you catch, Toad Left Field, Colossus Right Field. Pietro, well, you cover all the bases. Pyro, you're up!"

A mutant game of baseball, he thought.

How original.

Shaking his head he stood beside the chain link fence to referee the game and drink a brew. It would probably take the whole case before they were finished but he guessed none of the X-Jerks would play ball this way.

Out on the field Pyro took one look at what Gambit was doing and knew exactly what he was up to.

KAPLOW!

With lightening speed the supercharged baseball met the torched bat shooting flames into the air like fireworks.

"Owe! Owe! Owe!" Sabretooth was immediately covered with flames and soot, dropping his body to the ground and putting himself out.

"Dammit Pyro you do not set the bat on fire!" He yelled smoke still coming out of his hair. "And Gambit! No charging the baseball! Foul Ball!"

"I got your foul…." Gambit said making a lewd gesture in the vicinity of his crotch.

"You didn't say we couldn't use our powers." Pyro said.

"What? Owe!" Sabretooth said still smoking. "I didn't say ya _could_ either! And I saw that Cajun! Piotr! Yer up!"

"How the hell are we supposed to cover that?!" Toad yelled bouncing in his position in Left Field. "Balls probably gonna wind up in Schenectady by the time he's finished with it."

"No kidding." Pietro answered getting ready to sprint.

"So you just hit this spherical object with this instrument?" Piotr asked Sabretooth.

"That's kinda the point." He said.

"I do not know if I can do this. I have not always been that good at sports."

"Just keep yer eye on the ball, Tin Head."

Eyeing him Gambit prepared to wind up glancing left and right where Pietro and Toad were easing themselves further away anticipating the Russian's mighty swing.

With as much force as he could put into the bat Piotr swung and…………missed.

"Strike!" Freddy said.

"Are you kidding me?" Pietro said speeding up towards the field.

"Um, as I said, I am not that good at sports." Piotr mumbled.

"S'all right. Ya get another one." Sabretooth replied. No one could believe he'd missed the ball but it was probably a fluke. "Batter up!"

In the outfield Pietro and Toad came in further.

Taking a wider stance Piotr prepared to swing, the bat whistling in the air as Gambit pitched his second ball.

Again he missed.

Gambit snickered.

Being a natural athlete he couldn't believe Piotr would miss. How hard could it be? Hit the ball with the bat and run like all get out around the bases. Any idiot could do it. Winding up again he eyed Piotr ready to make his move.

Sweating at home plate Colossus stared him down.

"Just keep yer eye on the ball." Sabretooth said behind him.

With the speed of a bullet Gambit shot the ball towards the plate while Piotr swung, the bat and the ball colliding in mid air and cracking through the park with the force of a bomb. The bat splintered in two while the ball sped past Gambit.

Surprised, Piotr just stood there.

"Run! Russian! Run!" Sabretooth yelled giving him a half push. The stupid kid was just standing there.

Like a freight train Colossus took off towards first plate while Sabretooth watched Toad and Pietro running towards the ball. It bounced off the grass towards Toad in two-three time as he hopped after it desperately trying to catch it as Piotr ran towards second base.

"I got it! I got it!" Pietro yelled speeding towards Toad.

"Get out of the way, yo!" Toad hopped licking his tongue out and grabbing the ball mid-bounce. He might not be that coordinated on four legs but he at least knew enough tongue-eye coordination to grab the ball.

"Groff fritt!" He yelled, the ball in his mouth. Like a lizard he slung it towards Pietro as he whipped it in the air like a weird tongue playing jai-lai jockey.

"Eeeew! Toad! You slimed the ball!" Pietro said back catching the ball.

"Run Home!" Sabretooth still yelled at Colossus.

This had to be the most exciting part of the whole game and he couldn't believe that Colossus had actually hit the ball. Especially with the two Key Stone cops in outfield chasing the ball as Gambit and Pyro watched nervously both shouting either encouragement or moaning at near misses as the ball bounced still in play.

It had been a long morning showing the kids how to play the game but this actually was holding his interest. It looked like they were enjoying it too.

"Get it!" Pietro yelled as he threw the ball home. He could have easily have run the ball to home plate and made an easy out for Colossus in the time it took the Russian to run the bases.

At third Piotr kept going as Sabretooth swung his arms in almost a pinwheel motion at home plate.

"Keep going!" He yelled.

"Oh no you don't homme!" Gambit said running halfway from third to home. He had caught Pietro and Toad's slimed ball and was ready to throw him out, the ball glowing in his mitt.

Out of the corner of his eye Colossus could see what Gambit was doing as he ran towards the plate, automatically shifting into his body armor.

"Oh sh…." Sabretooth said as Piotr charged towards the plate.

Oblivious Colossus charge on, his eyes on only one thing and that was home plate.

"Stop! Stop!" Sabretooth yelled waving his arms frantically.

No one in the park would have expected anyone to survive as Colossus and Sabretooth banged together. In one giant sweeping motion his body was lifted off the ground as his arms still pin wheeled in the air and Colossus dove for the home base.

With a giant crash Sabretooth landed against the fence and stood there, half suspended before finally landing with a thud on the hard packed dirt of the baseball field.

"Safe!" Freddy said.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Later

"This is the best game……ever!" Pyro said.

"Says the dude that ain't been in the game, yo."

They had packed everything up and were ready to leave and Sabretooth was still brushing dirt off his clothes and in his hair and checking for grass in his teeth.

"Da. That was fun." Piotr agreed carrying all the equipment and putting it in the back of the HumVee. It had been a long day.

"Only cuz you won." Gambit grumbled.

"I'm telling you he was safe." Freddy replied.

"Says you." Pietro said.

"Yeah!"

"Man, we're supposed to come here because Mystique wants you to get some exercise and all you do is stand there being catcher. How fair is that?"

"I got exercise." Freddy said.

"I don't think standing there blocking home plate constitutes as exercise, Freddy."

"Yeah, you just wait until next time, yo!" Toad hopped.

"Next time?" Sabretooth said still pulling bits of chain link out of his hair.

"You sure you're okay to drive?" Gambit asked noting the dazed look on his face.

"Da. Wait until next time." Piotr said.

"What next time?" Sabretooth said.

"This was great! I love this game!" Pyro yelled.

"What next time?"

"You sure you're okay to drive?"

"What next time?" Sabretooth asked.

The End.


End file.
